Welcome to the Adventures of Alfredo and Gunther site. Every week or so, they will go on a new adventure that will make no sense what so ever but will probably end up wasting time. Now, for the first installment of the Adventures of Alfredo and Gunther.

Alfredo and Gunther live in a house constructed completely out of those twisty-ties you get at the supermarket. As you would suspect, it took them quite a while to built their Twisty Palace. Alfredo is a short-tall person that isn't quite black, and really isn't white either. Most people describe him as pink. He has 2 1/2 hands and 4 3/16 feet. The most striking thing about Alfredo is the fact that he doesn't have a head. Nope, no head, just 2 really big cow horns. His best friend is Gunther, a giant albino midget. Anyways, Alfredo and Gunter were going to go outside and walk upside down for a while when they ran into their friend, Timmy the whale that flies through the sky upside-down. Timmy said he heard that there was going to be a fight downtown. Alfredo and Gunther were very excited, so they decided to climb into their oversized rat and drive downtown. It would take them quite a while to get there, as downtown was located inside a very small orange peel that just happens to sit in the excrement of Satan. Alfredo and Gunther arived to find the fight already in progress. They asked around and found out that it was Dan, the oversized twisty tie and Tom, the grocery bag that were fighting. Their eyes shimmered with desire when they saw the size of the twisty tie. They knew that they must have that twisty tie in order to make the Twisty Palace complete. Quicky they formulated a plan to trap Dan, which included a female twisty tie costume. Gunther slipped into the sexy twisty tie costume and started to seduce Dan. Dan, who hasn't gotten a piece since his cattle disappeared, was easily distracted. Then, Alfredo grabbed Dan and stuffed him into cow which he carries around with him to carry things. They then jumped back into their rat and started the long drive back to the Twisty Palace, which was located slightly to the left of a really big bass. Once there, they took their Twisty little friend and sliced him into many pieces with a carrot. Alfredo then placed the pieces into place, thus making another guest bedroom in the Twisty Palace. Gunther would have helped, but since he was an albino midget, he wouldn't have been able to lift the pieces higher than 3 feet. Satisfied with their work, they went to bed in a big pile of asparagus.

After awakening from their asparagun induced slumbers, they started fixing breakfast. After confering for quite some time, they decided on eggage. Eggages are sausage eggs, only chickens don't make these eggs, giant sausages do. After eating, they washed down their meal with a giant glass of duck juice. All of a sudden, their neighbor Jan walked into the Tiwsty Palace. Jan was a walking piece of sod. Anyhoo, Jan was screaming because her ex-boyfriend, Bill was harrassing her. Bill was a floating cow head with 3 eyes and he had a bit of a mental problem. You see, Bill thinks that he is a floating cat head trapped inside a floating cow head's body. Jan had started this whole dispute by calling him a "Floating Cat Head Dresser" because he liked to wear floating cat head clothes. Alfredo and Gunther were stumped as to what to do, so they called in a friend of theirs that was rather good at solving problems like this, Tom the walking roll of duct tape. Well, I guess he didn't exactly walk...he more rolled downhill. Tom suggested that they both eat cottage cheese and roll in circles. They gave it a try, and everything was better again until Tom made anti-sod jokes. Jan was very offended by these jokes and sued Tom for Sodual Harrasment. The trial date was set for Chapter 3.

The court attic was completely quiet as the accused, Tom, rolled in (Yes, an attic. The room bellow was being used for trans-gender cow mud wrestling). Shortly after which, the Honorable Judge Big Johnson was presiding over the case. Now don't get any wrong ideas-